Let Go

I have this friend that lives in another time zone, and sometimes he calls me really late at night.  Last night he called me and then texted me later.  I found myself mulling a few things and finally turned on the light and started to read.  One of the thoughts on my mind right now is the Let Go and Let God thing.  I am not a religious person.  I am more spiritual, and my journey has led me to a place where I am a practicing Zen Buddhist, who believes in an all prevailing force of the universe (call it God) and I also believe in the sacred in nature.  I was reading a book about Wild Women and the chapter I had been reading before I went to sleep was not at all meaningful, it just kept using the word home to describe returning to the self, and the lack of metaphor was driving me a little WILD.  I got out of bed and pulled a book off the shelf by Houston Smith, he is a religious philosopher, I read the first chapter which I have to say really hit on the things that I had been thinking about.  He talks about rational knowledge and how there is this other intuitive thing that is the key to understanding our relationship to the divine to the sacred.  It is like the rainbow, you can examine it and study it, what colors are in it, name them, find out how light refracts through the misting water and creates colored light, but to really appreciate the rainbow you just have to note that the sun is shining and it is raining, to look around you until you see that stripe of glorious color against the blackened clouds, and notice how everyone around you is stopping to look at it too, and there is the sacred.

He talks about the four stages of belief in God too, the atheist does not believe in God, the polytheist believes in many Gods, the monotheist believes in one God and the mystic believes everything is God.  I am more like the later, which is why I see the whole world, the whole universe as sacred.  He talked also about waking every morning with the word God on your brain.  Again the God thing doesn’t work for me, and never has, but when I woke I saw the beautiful sun shining on the mottled bark and branches of the sycamore outside my bedroom window.  I could hear the hum of cars, a constant buzz in this small city, and even thought I could see the leaves moving right next to my open window I could not hear them, I wondered what else is nature saying that we cannot hear because we are only listening to the sound of the man made objects that assault our ears every day.   I want to listen to the leaves rustling.

Sycamore as seen from my bed

More than anything else what I want is to wake up with the thought of the sacred on my mind.  I don’t want to wake thinking of all the things that have gone wrong, or could go wrong in my day, or in my life.  And I don’t want to hold on to the ugly things in life.  I visualize my hand full of oozing mucky mad goo turning into a cupped handful of tiny black birds.  I will hear their song, I have to have faith that I am right here and it is exactly where I should be.  This is all part of letting go.


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