“Having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all right out, just as they are, chaff and grain together; certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and then with the breath of kindness blow the rest away.” – a quote by Dinah Craik
Would the world were like this. It seems the chaff is instead what we hold to. Not just the chaff of your words but perhaps the chaff of your character. The thing is that even when your character is one of deep love, affection, a great big giant heart of pure love (as my friend B. says), when your character is one of deep honesty and integrity, when your character is that of a hard worker, when your character is that of someone who loves the Earth, the Great Mother, when your character is of a gentle nature, kind, compassionate, but if you burp out loud or have a habit of picking at your hangnails or that you don’t wear high heels, nor dye your hair blond (er) , suddenly you are judged. And judged hard. Or perhaps it was just me. That I was judged on those things, and in the end realizing the judgment was someone else’s problems. Not really mine, because all of those other things, the things of character, are the things that really matter.
My friend J. said that I have to be willing to compromise when it comes to the one day possibility of finding a mate. Maybe my problem is I don’t want to compromise because I gave in so much with my marriage that I caved in. Imploded. And then was deserted for something better. It is my own damn fault too. I shouldn’t have to compromise, not on stupid things. The breath of kindness should blow away the hangnail picking, and the fact that I would rather wear birkenstocks or a pair of boots, I shouldn’t have to make my hair more blond than it already is to please a partner. He should be happy with me this way. Okay I can work on my trucker mouth, and if I have to I won’t smoke my cousins expensive cigars when I hang out with him. I can even give up my single daily (or less) beer, and my weekly (or less) bottle of wine but ask me to give up my coffee and I will walk away. I do wear high heels, but everyday? No sorry. I can exercise but I am not a loser if I choose to do it in a state park rather than a stinking gym with a bunch of New Jersey sorority girls. See the compromise should be in favor of being who you are in your true character, not against the very grain of your being.
And don’t you wish you could just drop it already. Let the chaff go from your own hands. Blow it all away out of kindness to yourself.
Please take my words as grain. Food to sustain the soul. To make a pearl you have to have GRIT. And the grit is made of the all the difficult things. The chaff is no different, in order to get the grain you have to sift through all the stuff you are going to let go.