Honesty

I would rather sit alone listening to the wind, the birds, the bugs, the trees, the grasses and the sound of my own breath than to hear one lie.  Things spoken, that are not true – even when meant to protect the hearer, are only harmful.  There is no protection in a lie, except to the one that speaks it.

Sometimes it is not really okay to be honest to the point of harm though.  Isn’t there a time when you should close your mouth and run it through some kind of filter.  I am not sure what kind of example to give, but maybe like a thing that you say to someone that isn’t your business, or would be better left unsaid. I guess maybe one would be to tell a teenaged girl that she is fat, or has put on a few pounds, or that she needs to lose weight.  Trust me in this world that teenaged girl has looked in the mirror so often she knows every blemish, and she hates even the most beautiful parts of her external body.  She doesn’t need anyone else to let her know the “truth” and if you speak those words aloud to her it will cut her open.  Damage her esteem.  Yes you are just being honest, and as you walk away your words are like a cloud to you.  You do not remember them tomorrow, but that girl will hold your honesty like a hot coal, it will hurt her.  It is better to say nothing, to close your mouth and start making delicious salads when you cook for her, even if she doesn’t touch it.  To suggest a long brisk walk, even if she says no.  And to not be attached to the outcome.  If she says no, she says no.  That’s it.  Let it go.

It is like the I will call you lie that men tell at the end of the night, it only prolongs the suffering.  Just say, it was a nice date, thank you.  Period.  Nothing else is needed.

I have no idea why I am writing about this today, to be honest I spent the day with a friend yesterday and we hiked and had dinner it was a lovely day.  And I spent the morning with a different friend watching TV in my PJ’s and knitting and napping on her sofa.  And I feel great.  But this issue of honesty is important to me.  Just be truthful, until it hurts and then keep silent, when I seek your counsel, temper it with judgment not for me but for your words and how they may hurt.  Temper it with compassion and sometimes, just let it rip let it hurt me but only if it will hurt less than the consequences of not hearing the truth.

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