I want to impart some astounding words of wisdom but I cannot, my head is pounding, despite working on gigantic mug of strong black coffee #2. The damp and chilly autumn morning stirred me to make popovers which I can smell their toasty goodness wafting upstairs as I write. The headache threatens to ruin it. My house feels warm and cozy with the storms clipped on in the back where I haven’t yet replaced the windows with ones that actually keep out the cold (and the ice that builds up inside the house). My plants now nestled in their winter spots look so lush and green from being outside in the sun and rain all summer. I push aside the curtain and look at my tidied back porch rug rolled and cleaned, chairs set up to be used on warm winter mornings cozy and snug against the house.
I have this desire to talk about what matters, and then this idea that what I am feeling right now matters most of all, but I cannot express or explain it. It is as though I am sweeping out some ideas that were encapsulated in spider silk in a hidden corner of my mind. I want to winterize my mind and my heart to the people who mean well but do damage none the less. I imagine the little dumb things they say that irritate me as being like clouds of breath coming out and I close my curtains to keep them from freezing me. There is this sense of pulling a veil over my face not to hide myself from predating eyes, but to protect myself from the ugliness of the world. And here for a moment I think of steampunk, and the goggles and the gas masks and I can see how they are so popular in story and movie culture. This sense of keeping the ugliness from entering you.
My home is organized mostly, not alot of clutter, some areas hidden from view could use a good clearing out, places where I get creative need to be cleaned and stripped bare in order to make room for new ideas, but generally the inside of my house is sound. And right now I only want to invite in visitors who will not wave their finger in front of my nose chastising me, nor people who stand hands on hips with their noses in the air, nor people who think they have a right to dictate what should go on inside my house. Rather I am looking for people that will come in, sit down and have a cup of coffee, a meal, and rest awhile with me. Without judgment.