The pleasure of doing nothing with a friend.

It was once our ritual to hang out every Thursday and knit in front of one TV show or another.  Most of the time we didn’t watch much TV but talked and knit and drank white wine and just enjoyed each other’s company.  In the train wreck year she dutifully came over almost every week, but over time it waned, I was meditating, and she was I am sure quite tired of my troubled mind.  But when my daughter was in a car accident it was she who met me at the hospital claiming to be her Aunt and stood by my side while we waited to hear whether or not there were internal injuries.  When she graduated from ESF I sat in the ceremony and watched her graduate, later taking a picture of her in her doctoral robes.  We had a new ritual of watching the horse show each fall, killed now by budget cuts.  I know her family, she knows mine, for many years running we spent Thanksgiving and Easter together.  On my daughter’s birthday this year she mentioned that this is perhaps the 6th year that she has celebrated with us.  She is a good friend, I feel fortunate to have her in my life.

Today I was troubled by my daughter, but also I have another friend who left a dish at my house that I cannot find and I thought I might have thought it was this other friends and brought it to her house.  I stopped by and as I walked in the door she said to me, what is wrong, she could hear the stress in my voice, I guess.  I said nothing but she kept asking until I finally confessed.  I talked to her as she feed me a couple delicious chocolate chocolate chip flaxseed cookies.  Her boyfriend listened in and offered some support, making me laugh and actually saying a couple things that were filed away for thought later.  Things that made sense to me.  They both work early or far away and I asked if I could stay a little while and they both said of course.  I literally sat on my friend’s bed while she sorted her winter clothes, sewing buttons on a sweater while she folded and hung other sweaters in her closet.

I told her, it has been so long since we have had the chance to just hang out and talk and I feel so happy to be able to do it tonight.  She agreed.  It is good to have a friend you can happily do nothing with.  Or can sit with while they do their own puttering about.  As I left her boyfriend said, you can come by any time you want, just to hang out.  Cool I said.  And as I left my friend hugged me.  And told me how happy she was to spend time with me.

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