I drank too much wine and am really dehydrated. I am dizzy and I throw up my coffee and water. I try to eat knowing it is just a hangover but throw that up too. I do not usually have this reaction, and I haven’t had that much wine. But for whatever reason my body is rejecting it. Now a week later I think I was coming down with something, because my belly is still not fully recovered. But at the moment every smell and every taste was abhorrent. I admit that I usually do drink this much when I am visiting this particular friend. And sometimes lately I feel like I am drinking too much. (I haven’t touched it since a week ago today though) I recognize my increasing need to numb myself from the difficulties of this life and now as I have spent the last 16 hours in a state of contemplation I know that something has to change. I know I need to eat healthier, I know I need to drink less, I know I need to exercise more. I know all of these things. But lets go back to one week ago.
So I am outside, because I am a true believer that fresh air will cure any ailment. And I am standing on the porch in the cool Adirondack air. And despite the fact that I am trying hard not to wretch I am appreciating the fact that you cannot hear cars out here in the middle of the woods. The other person who is staying with A. my dear friend, comes outside. She is a holistic healer and energy worker. I buy into holistic healing, I believe that we can get more from the natural world than the world of drug companies but I am a skeptic always. I guess in some ways this explains my inability to embrace Christianity. What the hell do you mean that she was a virgin and her baby was the living son of God. Come on. She was screwing around and got pregnant and tried to make up a story to cover her ass. Bitch, Please! The friend whom I will call K. gave me two Nox Vomica tablets. And a cup of
Umiboshi Plum tea. Goji berry powder tea. I do not throw up again, although I dry heaved a couple times. I drink the tea, slowly. I move to a spot where I sit on the steps and I begin to meditate, centering myself and just focusing on my breathing. It is easy to do this when you are crazy nauseous. It is hard to think at all. K. stepped outside and asked how I was feeling and asked if it was okay to do energy work on me. Now here my skeptic steps in and with a hand on an akimbo hip says. YEAH sure! I said okay, whats to lose, and it will help her if nothing else. So she begins at my feet not quite touching me. As I sit there in my meditative state something quite obvious begins to happen. I begin to see a change in the light that moves behind my closed eyelids. It is like those trip disks we played with as kids, where you spin the disk and the light makes patterns. That started to happen to the light in my eyelids. She continued to do this work, at times with me asking questions, if I release negative energy will it harm you? Oddly she focuses alot of her hand placement at my lower back which has been having spasms lately, my hip which has hurt now for over 10 years (since I fell on the flagstone while hanging a hummingbird feeder) and my knee which had an overuse injury this summer. I don’t tell her this and I have no outward evidence of my daily (hip) and occasional pain (back and knee), no one ever says why are you limping. We continue on like this for several minutes and at some point my eyes are open and I am done, and a few minutes later the pirate is standing looking up at me from the ground level and I say, he is ready to go. She stops. I thank her. I feel tons better.
Later both the pirate and A. tell me it was a dramatic change. The pirate asks K. what kind of voodoo did you do on her because she was better. And I was. We tromped around in the woods all morning. I was slow, but I felt fine. I tell A. and the pirate, I am a skeptic, I really don’t believe in that shit but I saw and felt something without a doubt. Now I know that in the Zen practice there are times when people say that you can feel an energy in the meditative practice, and when you chant KanZeOn I can feel a vibrational energy that I link in my mind to sound resonance. But sometimes when I practice I feel a something inexplicable. And I have a certain clairvoyant energy that strikes at times. Like the time my daughter, napping in her car seat had slid down, I was in the bathroom and saw it all in a flash in my head. Or the night my grandfather died and I dreamed of him all night and knew he was gone long before my Mom called me to tell me, and my brother had said the same thing to her when she called him to tell him. The door to belief was open, but the skeptic was guarding the gate. Now I think the skeptic is just looking quizzical, and curious about this notion.