After running errands in the morning the Pirate and I decided it was too warm to spend the day indoors watching TV and vegging out, so we grabbed the dog and went on a road trip. The wind was really cold, but the air was relatively warm. We drove to one of the lakes in the Fingerlakes Region and did a little walking in the woods there, the lake was really choppy but it was pretty even in the grey and wind of the day. After I snacked on Venison jerky I did some Tai Chi by the water. My hands were freezing, so cold that they hurt.
I saw this wonderful quote at a shop we stopped in at on the way home….
“Working with clay is not just making pots, but also a kind of music in my mind. Real audible music is often a distraction from the inner melody.”
~ Jim Kozlowski
This quote is exactly why I never use an ipod while walking or hiking or being out in nature. I love to listen to the sounds of the world.
Poem that came to me in my state of wakefulness on Friday.
For once it seems to be fiction.
Your icy fingers
grip my throbbing heart
it freezes instantly
cracking like the mud
when the desert sun steals its wet.
I exhale in a cloud
the wind whips
the breath out of my mouth
and carries it across the chopping lake
it moves like waves
on amber grains.
I do not breathe again.
I cannot breathe again.
My heart is cold
like a stone
and no chisel
can crack it open.
I was listening very briefly to NPR this morning. I do not even know who was speaking but he something I loved.
I must paraphrase:
When we write even with so much negativity, even about the ugly and hateful things, the horrible things and the bitterness and aching inside of us, we can only see that as a positive, it is beautiful and creative way to open ourselves up and make something real out of what is happening to us. It is a way of healing, it is a way of making something good out of the bad things that have happened. In that moment, I felt that any negative karma I may have accrued for pouring my guts out for the last three and a half years, may have in fact not have been so very negative. I did truly try write and write and write in order to heal. And now that the healing is so close to being done, I am ready to move on and write about other things, because now it is a habit I never want to break.
I love writing, it is another way to paint the richness of my soul.