He calls me and I am happy to hear from him, he has been a good friend, he has helped me tremendously since the divorce, fixing my car, fixing a leaky tub, helping me with some things when I was working on the house this summer. He has been a hard working co worker, preparing curriculum, literacy in art plans, and just someone to talk to when things at the district are difficult. He loves my sycamore tree almost as much as me. His wife is a wonderful sweet woman, his kids are awesome. His baby used to run to me calling out Hi Meg with his chubby little arms outstretched for a hug. Sometimes we have talked about God and about religion and nothing would make him happier than to have me accept Jesus as my Lord and Savior.
But I cannot do it.
He says, what if you are wrong? If you just accept Him when you get to the end of your life you will be accepted into heaven with God. He says, his way is the only way, in fact even Catholics are suspect, they will not get into heaven, their belief in God is wrong. See I think this way of thinking is wrong, it puts up a barrier between you and other people. I think this kind of thinking leads to violence between religions, I think this kind of thinking has actually caused the deaths of millions and millions of people over the eons. I think this kind of thinking is actually deeply evil.
He called me the other night and once again told me how much he wants me to be Saved. He told me that God wants me to know that being Gay is a sin. He told me that even if a child is raped and becomes pregnant, they should not be able to have an abortion, that God wants that child to be pregnant, and that the baby’s life is sacred.
I just don’t know. Or rather, I do know. He is wrong.
I have a very strong faith, but my faith is not his.
Let me put it in a nutshell.
We humans, have small minds which cannot fathom the greatness or the vastness of the higher power. It’s like we are in a house and we are all looking out the window at God, but some people are looking out different windows. What they see is God, but it is not all of God, and it is their view, their perspective but it is not the only view, it is not the ONLY way to God. Some people have this basement view too, their view is so limited and so dark. Some people are on the widow’s walk, they see a whole lot more of what God is than others.
We humans have such a limited view of how to get to a greater understanding of God, we all have our paths but it is all a path to God. Its like the sky is God, but we are all on different paths to the top of the mountain. Some people are shouting out, this is the path, not that one. Some paths are clear and straight, but some are rough and require a bushwhack. Some paths are riddled with obstacles and some paths are easy slopes. Some people are climbing up a completely different mountain, some people think they are on the summit, but it is just a beautiful mountain pond, and look there up there, on the face of that other hump is an overlook, but even that is not the true summit, and when you get there, its just a small section of what is God, it doesn’t come close to the whole of what IT is.
Here is what I believe, God made people who are heterosexual and people who are homosexual, and our human minds cannot fathom how or why or what, or any of that, and really it isn’t our place to judge God’s decision to have some people love each other one way and some people to love each other another way. If my friend can accept the raped baby of a pre-teen child, why can he not also accept the gayness of a grown man or woman? And what kind of person would have a child give be to a baby of rape or incest? In some cultures these girls are murdered, not the men who do the heinous act, but the innocent one. I don’t think any one ever choses abortion easily, but what I do know, is that sometimes people do, and absolutely it should be a legal option for someone who wants one, because the illegal option is horrible. Awful. Ugly. And usually ends up hurting more than just the fetus, it often results in the death of the mother, and the end of her chance to bear further children. It is not a man’s place to make this place for a female. Not ever. It is not an option to eliminate the choice legally, because women will continue to make this choice without sanction from men. This is not YOUR body, it is mine, so mind your own damn business, and make sure healthy options are available for any choice.
My friend thinks Buddha is a God. Buddha is not a God, Buddha was a teacher. A man who said listen to my words, if you find them to be true, good, if not keep looking until you find the truth. You do not have to believe my words to be the only truth. Buddha said this life is full of suffering, that you must accept your life, not with a passive giving up, but with an active sense of knowing that all that happens will happen, kind of a let go and let God. You can be a Buddhist and a Christian, you can be a Buddhist and a Muslim, you can be a Buddhist and be an atheist.
I sometimes let him proselytize to me because it helps him, that is something he feels a need to do, and as his friend, I let him, it is a small price to pay for all he has done for me. But sometimes I want to tell him to join me on the widow’s walk because the view is so much better. And sometimes I want to shout his name and wave to him from my mountain top and tell him how beautiful my view is. But I don’t. I let him believe what he believes.
Next time, I will tell him. Thank you my dear friend for your concern, but at the end of my life God will judge me, and I am pretty sure, IT will judge me as worthy.