Madness

In like a lion, out like a lamb.  Though today was neither lion nor lamb, it was just a slow drifting flakes of snow on warm wet ground kind of day.  My first time venturing outdoors in a couple days.  I have been under the weather, meaning, I have had no idea what the weather was.  Three days ago we looked at the green stalks of crocus growing in the Aunt’s yard.  A week ago, at the stalks of daffodil pushing up through the snow, despite the solid tromping from Jack the dog, but far south of here.  I started this blog, as a way of noting the changing seasons, the flowers blooming, the smell of spring in the air, the birds making their biannual pilgrimage.

It became a treatise on the cold and stark winter of my soul.   Noting the flowers that bloomed in the snow.  The fireflies that glowed in the solid dark, and the the birds that shit on my head.

March is an up and down month, a month when it snows three feet one day and is fifty degrees the next.  Then freezing rain, then buds bursting in the trees.

I am up and down right now.

It is said that when you need to shut down, your body and mind shut down.

So my foot started to hurt for no reason, and shortly I was not walking.  Then when people began to demand my services as driver and errand runner, I started to vomit.  I still don’t feel particularly well.

I am waiting on a sign from the universe, telling me what is next.

I stand by the kitchen window.  On one foot.

And watch the tiny flakes drifting one by one down onto the wet grass.

I cannot keep my eyes open.

And I fall asleep.

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