it is early morning, the air is crisp and cold and the wind is blowing. she wakes me with chewing on my pillow, I pad out in my hard soled slippers and fleece jacket over my pjs. not to be scatological but this first trip of the day, is the one where she likes to do her business, i walk up the hill to the first tier to encourage her, if i stand by the door she doesn’t always take the time she needs to. i look up in the sky and the moon is just peeking through a crack in the overcast sky and it shines light on clouds in the shape of a heart, silver against the purple-black of the sky.
i go to work, but am immediately regretting it. my hands ache, my fingers ache, my shoulders and back ache and i am nauseous from anti inflammatory. I try to work with paper and my fingers cannot grasp it to tear it. I huddle inside of myself, waiting for the day to end before it even started. i look at my schedule and realize that a day off today will not be so bad. i go home sick and spend the rest of the day in bed, though the sun is shining and perfect for a crisp autumn walk. washing the dishes feels good on my stiff fingers. half gloves after hold in the heat. ah. this is fun.
i walk the dogs after they eat their dinner. i put on more glove than i usually would for this time of year. even if you are sick, and i am not so much sick as sore all over, a puppy needs to be walked.
I have come to love, over many many years of it, this quiet walking. and now she has come to walk quite pleasantly beside me. halfway through she stops me nipping at the back of my knee until i bend down to hug her and pet her, he joins her and we are just three dogs loving each other. i make them walk farther than either of them want to. puppy energy i say, and achy old bones. we can do it, sancho is not so sure. he knows the pirate is making food. inside.
and outside. there is Orion in the autumn sky, and in my heart. these night walks are a part of me. they make me whole, even when parts of me are missing.