Buddhism · weak woman



i do a prostration, here on my way into the bathroom,out of the bathroom, on the floor of the doctor’s office, out on the sun porch as the dogs frolic in the snow.

knees hands belly.  and up again.

intimately acquainted with the floor, i find a dog canine.

intimately acquainted with what it feels like to sob uncontrollably in public.

please, please hurry

intimately acquainted with the back seat of my car as i lay on my back hoping no one will reach inside the open car door and rob me.

intimately acquainted with ordering what i want.  you WILL drive me to the doctor tomorrow.  you WILL wait for me.  you WILL take me to the drug store.  ok .ok.ok.

my angel, comes to get her facial creams, rubbing my back as I lean my head on the cash register.  i called ahead i tell her, they said it would be ready.  sorry says the cashier. sorry. i am crying, the pharmacist says, who is crying, then, we are almost done.

sorry i say, i am in so much pain.

i feel like a monk prostrating before the buddha.  i am surrendering to this suffering.  this excruciating pain,

my body says, it is time to release all of this negative karma.

i prostrate my body to the floor,

the dog licks the back of my hand and then stands over me.

sentinel he says, i will watch out for you when you cannot defend yourself

she plays quietly nearby, stopping to look at me eye to eye, you okay down there?  yes?  okay, i go play now.  you okay still?  okay i go play now.  throwing her body against me and promptly snoring when she has tired,

it is elegant, this

so very elegant.

to know so intimately

the pain of suffering.

this awareness.

this understanding.

so very elegant.




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