I am standing in the middle of this steam now, but no longer am I waiting for stepping stones to appear, the flood has receded and I am too far from the shore to take the step. I am in a deep chasm, the water too far below me to fall safely into the water, even though I do not care if I might get wet. A being hovers in the air nearby, and she offers to help, she pushes the slab so it teeters mostly off the high spire it rests upon, I take a step, a person on shore reaches for my hand and the rock tips and I am plunging.
I am standing in a terminal, waiting for a flight to South America, all I have to do is step somehow from one platform to another, the problem is between the two platforms there is a corner jutting out and it is too far to step. There are people milling about on both platforms, clearly they have made this step. But I cannot. And I am asking myself, why do I even want to go there? I don’t understand.
I want to fly across the distance, but my wings are clipped. I am caged. I want to get a new tattoo one of a condor at the zoo. Clipped. Caged.
The universe brutally smacks the back of my head. I know he is here without having to search for it. It just hits me hard, while I am looking for something utterly unrelated. Thank you. I say with my middle fingers raised both hands. Thanks so much. Can this be any more painful? Really? Stop teaching me, I need time to not be taught a blessed thing.
I wake to the cold. Shivering.
I reluctantly go to work. The light is right, the birds are singing the right song, but it drags so, this winter. How it drags. The car is covered with snow. I brush it off. I take one step after another. I know how to make myself feel better, I dig in instead. Settle into my haunches, waiting for it all to pass.