Record Cold

We woke this morning to record cold temperatures.  It was 14 degrees Fahrenheit when I pulled out of our driveway this morning.  Along the river basin, the condensation in the air had coated every plant surface with frosty ice, the brilliant sunshine refracting making it sparkle like a crystal palace.  Beautiful.

I realized at some point yesterday, that all of this emotional stuff is utter nonsense.  I started taking the medication because my depression was horrible.  Of course living with a man boy narcissistic verbally abusive man who was putting his colostomy bag in my face on a daily basis telling me to look at the soup, and walking in the door cursing and swearing, calling me a fat, lazy, slob, and grabbing my body parts during sex telling me he didn’t find me attractive might have had something to do with it.

I am off it.  My mood is stabilizing on its own.  Emotions suppressed for two years, may fluctuate a bit when they come back.

And you know what, screw the person who doesn’t stand fiercely in my corner, screw the person who focuses on my flaws instead of their own.  Screw the person who doesn’t hold me in high regard and have respect for me.  I will not tolerate meanness in my life anymore.  I don’t have to.

I am strong, independent, beautiful, loving, smart, funny, creative and hardworking, the rest is just people casting shade.

And trying to make sure I am doing what they expect me to do.

I will NOT be a victim of this any more.  No “poor me”, there is nothing to pity.

I will sparkle in the shining sun like a crystal palace.

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