I feel a kind of tenderness, a need to curl up against the warm, clean, good smelling body of Tom. I lift his big hand and popeye arms and wrap him around me. Whats up with you today, you okay? I am I say, I just want to cuddle.
The time change, and my lousy sleep pattern intersect with a harshness, I am up too late, I awake too early.
I pull out my yoga mat and finally. Finally, finally.
So long the voice of, “if you don’t want to do the pose it is the one you most need” is hushed. Be quiet, I tell it. It is okay to just do the poses you really like to do. You don’t have to do a bunch of poses that hurt, that are keeping you from doing what you love to do. Just do those, just do triangle and down dog. Just do them. The dog cuddles me and plays with me as I bend over stretching. It feels so good.
I turn on my Ipad just to look up lemongrass, I awake with it in my mind. Later the dog and cat are chewing on the grass. Tom yells at them, no, I say, it is okay, its really good for them. Maybe me too. I want to make lemongrass oil.
Later, after I am ready, very early, I take the dog for a short walk. She is astonished. Be careful, Tom tells me, this road is dangerous. I know. I say, but Mike told me not to walk out back in the mornings during hunting season. He won’t shoot you, Tom says. I know I say, but it is his property and I have to respect what he told me.
I don’t know what happened over the weekend. I went from feeling really depressed to opening up again.
I feel tender, and cold, and fresh.