It is the time of year when crisp brittle cold sears your nostrils and steals your breath; when the snow crunches under your boots. But it is not that time of year, it is, instead, drizzling cold rain, the snow, a week ago covered in ice, is mostly melted and the driveway, is a drive-puddle. The sky is grey, the snow that remains in heaped piles is black and brown and the world is muddy and cold and damp and all you want to do is curl into a comforter and sleep. Or do nothing. Or weep.
I take a double dose of vitamin D3. I beg the universe for some beauty, some glimmer in this lifetime of hopelessness.
Ugliness. Emptiness. Emotional Drainage. Like a sinus infection, it makes your head feel heavy and painful. And your body which has already betrayed you more times than you can count, drags like it is trying to slog through a deep pool of molasses.
I drive by a muddy farm, on a sandy road, in the drizzling rain and stop to take a picture. The ducks rush to either attack me or greet me. And I call out to the chickens, HI LADIES.
And when my gallon of washer fluid thumps and bangs in the back, I stop and get out to place it more carefully and I can hear the starlings making their beautifully awful noise somewhere in the vicinity of the misted river.