I realized today that I am having a hard time with the whole dating thing for one main reason. I cannot abide the rules. Its like that old game of duck duck goose. I find myself sitting in the damn circle with dating and I bleeping hate it. I despise it. I find myself actually texting my daughter’s father to ask him what the hell is going on. He confirms what I already know about myself, that humor, intelligence, truthiness, the real me, entirely loveable. I talk to my favorite cousin he says honey just be yourself, cause I love you just as you are, but everyone else tells me wait three days before you call, never let him see you sweat, if he is into you he will call you, you have to have sex on the fourth date blah blah blah. Funny how it was so much easier for me before I was even aware of these stupid rules. And yes the guys I have dated successfully have generally been people not sitting in the game of duck duck goose but dude when I try to play I find myself just hopping up and down next to the gym teacher shouting honk HONK HONK and am threatened with expulsion. Its making me crazy. I have too much energy and frankly I hate the game. I cannot play it. If I like you I am not going to sit back and wait, screw that. It sucks.
Meanwhile I am sitting here sweating from working out for an hour checking facebook and writing on my blog. Alone. But I suddenly feel okay cause seriously I would rather by myself balls to the wall than to sit back and wait. I am starting a new game over here and I am cool with playing all by myself until someone else wants to join in.